DC Comics’ Border Town writer Eric Esquivel finally broke his silence after he was accused of sexual misconduct by Cynthia Naugle as well as a number of other women.
The accusations saw DC Comics cancel Border Town following artist Ramon Villalobos and Tamra Bonvillain publicly state they would no longer be working on the book. Esquivel would initially issue a statement to The Hollywood Reporter calling Naugle’s accusations “reckless.” He would also deny the allegations stating they were “false.”
However, Esquivel has now taken to Twitter where he has made his account public (it was previously restricted) and issued a much lengthier response where he apologizes, but he still maintains that he “never engaged with anyone who was unwilling.” (Archive link: http://archive.is/grldk)
Well-meaning entities in my life have discouraged me from saying anything in public. I’ve been told that the best strategy right now is to “hold tight, until this all blows over”…But I don’t want this to “blow over”. Either in my own life, or in Culture-at-large.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
What I want, is to apologize. To serve as a cautionary tale to others. And to change.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
Hearing my past behavior described to me this week has been the most surreal experience of my life. My perception of events, relationships, and personal dynamics are so far removed from the way they’ve been recounted, my knee-jerk reaction is to deny them outright…
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
…Both publicly, and to myself.
But the sources of these accusations are women who I not only respect, but who I genuinely love.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
These are people whose presence in my life has changed me for the better, and who I am infinitely grateful to have known. People who I’ve kept in intimate contact with since the years we’ve been apart.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
So it doesn’t make sense that they’d simply be making things up. They have nothing to gain, and everything to lose.
The odds suggest that I have a problem. Or, rather, that I AM a problem.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
And, honestly, that’s something I’ve been at least peripherally aware of for some time. Everything I’ve ever written has been about a young man, operating at a deficit because he grew up without a father, trying his damndest to figure out what it means to be a “man”.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
And that’s because I was pulling from my own experience. I grew up without any male role models. So I looked to Pop Culture for instructions. A lot of what I learned was useful: the sobriety I reverse-engineered from Batman, the compassion for animals that I aped from Aquaman,etc
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
But the stuff I learned about male sexuality– from James Bond, Arthur Fonzarelli, Gene Simmons, etc– were completely inappropriate.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
(To be clear: I’m not blaming Pop Culture for my actions. If I didn’t grow up behind a library, I would’ve found other archetypes to emulate. Possibly even shittier ones)
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
I was, and continue to be, insecure in my masculinity.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
In my twenties, I tried to combat that by doing everything I could to muster up external validation: getting into fistfights, pursuing the spotlight, and behaving extraordinarily promiscuously. Especially with other men’s wives and girlfriends.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
It kills me that I have to say this, but: I never engaged with anyone who was unwilling. Not only is that downright evil, it wouldn’t have accomplished what I was trying to accomplish: which is to feel wanted and appreciated.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
I became conscious of my own toxic behavior about two years ago, after a close female friend suggested that I examine myself from that perspective.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
I’ve attempted to change the way I’ve lived since then. I’ve volunteered at various community-oriented charities, taught writing classes to formerly-incarcerated youth, used my platform in The Arts to amplify the voices of disadvantaged creators…
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
… but I never reached out to the women from my past, to make sure that I hadn’t unknowingly harmed them. Mostly because I am a coward, and feared hearing that the answer was “Yes, of course”.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
I don’t know what to say about that. I don’t know how to make things okay. I don’t know how I can be of use to culture, going forward.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
Honestly, I hope it’s that last one. Because that’s the easy way out. &, as I’ve mentioned, I’m a coward.
…But I suspect that it’s not. I suspect that I’m not operating on a level of awareness that allows me to see the answer yet. But I’m going to try to get there. I promise.
— Ξric M. Ξsquivel (@ericMesquivel) December 19, 2018
And while Esquivel’s Border Town was cancelled by DC Comics with both Border Town #5 and Border Town #6 no longer being shipped to retailers, Diamond Comic Distributors has also erased Border Town from their Previews World website including solicitation information from previous issues of Border Town.
Not only did Diamond remove Border Town from their website, but the series has also been completely pulled from the Vertigo Comics website.
What do you make of Esquivel’s apology and statement? What do you make of Diamond Comic Distributors erasing Border Town from their website?