Gone Girl actress Emily Ratajkowski recently claimed that she will allow her child to choose their gender at 18. But not only did she discuss that her child will choose their own gender, she also claimed that she’s been “traumatized” by white men.
Ratajkowski comments were made public when she penned an article for Vogue discussing her pregnancy.
She wrote, “WHEN MY HUSBAND AND I tell friends that I’m pregnant, their first question after “Congratulations” is almost always “Do you know what you want?” We like to respond that we won’t know the gender until our child is 18 and that they’ll let us know then.”
The actress continued, “There is a truth to our line, though, one that hints at possibilities that are much more complex than whatever genitalia our child might be born with: the truth that we ultimately have no idea who—rather than what—is growing inside my belly. Who will this person be? What kind of person will we become parents to? How will they change our lives and who we are? This is a wondrous and terrifying concept, one that renders us both helpless and humbled.”
“I like the idea of forcing as few gender stereotypes on my child as possible. But no matter how progressive I may hope to be, I understand the desire to know the gender of our fetus; it feels like the first real opportunity to glimpse who they might be. As my body changes in bizarre and unfamiliar ways, it’s comforting to obtain any information that might make what’s coming feel more real,” she added.
Interestingly enough, Ratajkowski would go on to claim she’s actually imagined herself having a girl.
She explains, “It occurs to me that as a younger person I’d almost automatically imagined myself having a daughter.” She goes on to describe she imagined her own daughter playing with an American Girl doll similar to how she did.
Ratajkowski even details a discussion she has with her husband, “‘To be perfectly honest,’ I tell my husband over dinner, ‘I’m not sure that I even know that I want a girl. I guess I’d just never really thought about having a boy before.’”
She would then go on to discuss how women and men are different from each other biologically.
“My husband likes to say that ‘we’re pregnant.’ I tell him that while the sentiment is sweet, it’s not entirely true. I resent that his entire family’s DNA is inside of me but that my DNA is not inside him,” she writes.
She continues, ‘It just seems unfair,’ I say, and we both laugh. It’s kind of a joke, but just like the remark we make about our child’s gender, there is truth behind it.”
The actress elaborates, “Pregnancy is innately lonely; it’s something a woman does by herself, inside her body, no matter what her circumstances may be. Despite having a loving partner and many female friends ready to share the gritty details of their pregnancies, I am ultimately alone with my body in this experience.”
“There is no one to feel it with me—the sharp muscular aches in my lower abdomen that come out of nowhere while I’m watching a movie or the painful heaviness of my breasts that now greets me first thing every morning,” she continues.
Ratajkowski concludes, “My husband has no physical symptoms in ‘our’ pregnancy, another reminder of how different a woman and man’s experience of life can be.”
She would also discuss the differences between boys and girls later in the article.
She wrote, “EVERYONE HAS OPINIONS on what to expect from a boy or a girl. ‘Boys develop slower. They’re more work than girls as toddlers, but they love their moms so much!’ one friend tells me, winking. ‘Girls mature faster but are so sensitive!’ another adds.
“According to friends and strangers alike, even my pregnancy itself seems to be affected by the gender of my child: where I’ll carry (Boys are low! Girls sit higher and make you sick in the first trimester!), what I’ll want to eat (craving sweets means a girl!), and even what will turn me on (carrying a boy means more of a sex drive!). A makeup artist applies mascara to my eyes as he tells me that carrying a girl takes the mother’s beauty away,” she continues.
Ratajkowski then clearly writes, “I don’t necessarily fault anyone for these generalizations—a lot of our life experiences are gendered, and it would be dishonest to try to deny the reality of many of them.”
She does add the caveat, “But I don’t like that we force gender-based preconceptions onto people, let alone babies. I want to be a parent who allows my child to show themself to me. And yet I realize that while I may hope my child can determine their own place in the world, they will, no matter what, be faced with the undeniable constraints and constructions of gender before they can speak or, hell, even be born.”
In the article, Ratajkowski would also explain why she’s “scared of having a son.”
She explains, “I’ve known far too many white men who move through the world unaware of their privilege, and I’ve been traumatized by many of my experiences with them.”
“And boys too; it’s shocking to realize how early young boys gain a sense of entitlement—to girls’ bodies and to the world in general. I’m not scared of raising a “bad guy,” as many of the men I’ve known who abuse their power do so unintentionally. But I’m terrified of inadvertently cultivating the carelessness and the lack of awareness that are so convenient for men,” she elaborated.
She then questioned, “It feels much more daunting to create an understanding of privilege in a child than to teach simple black-and-white morality. How do I raise a child who learns to like themself while also teaching them about their position of power in the world?”
Ratajkowski is no stranger to making inflammatory comments and statements.
Back in 2019, the actress posed nude and took issue with “25 old white men” who “voted to ban abortion in Alabama even in cases of incest and rape.”
Ratajkowski wrote in her Instagram post, “These men in power are imposing their wills onto the bodies of women in order to uphold the patriarchy and perpetuate the industrial prison complex by preventing women of low economic opportunity the right to choose to not reproduce.”
“The states trying to ban abortion are the states that have the highest proportions of black women living there. This is about class and race and is a direct attack on the fundamental human rights women in the US deserve and are protected by under Roe vs. Wade. Our bodies, our choice,” she added.
What do you make of Ratajkowski’s comments?