‘Anyone But You’ Review — A Romance Film That Forgets What Romance Is
Jacob Smith
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Remember romance? Remember comedy? Yeah, those were good times.
In the year 2023, I think it’s safe to say that Hollywood is probably the worst place you could go to in order to look for either romance or comedy.
It is also safe to say that the industry that has been subverting the populace into homosexual romance for so long has completely forgotten how to write a story about a man and a woman. On the flip side, the same industry that tells the world what is and isn’t funny — because we don’t want to punch down anymore — hasn’t made a film that made audiences laugh since the George W. Bush administration.
So when Sony releases a trailer for a movie, that’s supposedly a romantic comedy about two attractive leads falling in love, you would be a fool to not ask the question, ‘Well, what’s the catch?” The catch is the two people on the poster are basically supporting characters in their own movie. Surprise! This is a bait-and-switch.
The film stars Glen Powell has Ben and Sydney Sweeney as Bea. After meeting in a coffee shop in Boston — despite the fact neither one sounds like they even know where Boston is on a map — the couple instantly hits it off as they spend their romantic day and night together. However, a misunderstanding causes the couple to lose connection for almost two years.
Fortunately for them, Bea’s sister is getting married to Ben’s best friend… who happens to be a woman (Surprise!). Ben and Bea are forced to travel to Australia in order to attend the wedding.
However, when their ex-girlfriend and boyfriend show up to the event, they decide to pretend to go out with one another in order to make their exes jealous so they can get back together with their exes. And, to the surprise of absolutely no one, this plan falls apart quicker than something that was made by Acme.
If you thought that anyone but you was Hollywood’s attempt at making a solid rom com movie, boy, were you wrong.
Anyone But You is a film that essentially showcases three things: 1) how progressive the people involved in the movie are by highlighting the interracial lesbian couple as the primary figure of the movie, 2) awkward comedy that makes up for it’s obnoxious dialogue between the characters, and 3) they have to make up for the film credit they received by filming most of the movie in Australia.
The first question you should ask yourself about any romantic comedy is, do the two leads have any chemistry? And the answer here is well, yeah? They’re your typical couple that your friends say should be together but probably aren’t good together in real life.
The film pulls focus away from our two leads in order to give it to an arraignment of terrible supporting characters.
You have Hippie Parents #1, you have Hippie Parents #2, you have Lesbian Couple, you have the young Australian couple who are funny because no one can understand what they’re saying, you have Super Cool Black Best Friend, and that’s about it.
Everything the story structure needs to succeed simply doesn’t work, because the rest of the film isn’t really that interesting. The first act of the movie presents itself as if it’s going after over the top physical comedy to get the majority of its laughs.
But as the film progresses, that aspect of the comedy is slowly removed out of the story. Going back to the problem at hand, Hollywood doesn’t know how to do comedies because they don’t know what actual romance is. A town full of degenerates has completely perverted what love means and turned it into lust.
What that creates is: two characters who don’t know how to communicate on a human level. One person doesn’t know how to express his feelings at all and the other person can’t commit to anything in her life. And what that leaves audiences with is two characters who have absolutely nothing in common; share no interests but they’re both attractive.
The romantic element of this film is so disconnected to reality that no real couple can sit here and actually believe anything that’s actually going on, and the same can be said for the comedy of this film as well.
Take a scene, for example, where Sydney Sweeney’s character tries to steal a cookie from Ben only to end up stuck in the most ridiculous way possible, which ends up with her on top of him for the light chuckle of an implied sex scene.
That’s the bit.
At the end of the day, asking Hollywood to make a good romantic comedy is like asking your plumber to pave your driveway. There’s a reason you don’t do it.
NEXT: ‘Poor Things’ Review – Emma Stone Has Never Looked So EMPTY
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