‘Challengers’ Review – Zendaya’s Homoerotic Bore Offers Nothing
Seven months ago, at the height of the actors and writers strike, MGM Studios made the decision to push back the release of Challengers in hopes they could maximize its release under the guise that people will want to see a film where Zendaya has an on-screen threesome with two guys not named Tom Holland.
I hate to break it to you but if you are racing to the theaters thinking that you’re going to see a steamy sex scene with a former Disney Channel star you are mistaken.
There are so many problems with the film that MGM’s decision to spend $55 million on this cinematic endeavor may still not be in the top five. What do you get when you take three unlikable characters and put them in a love triangle for 2 hours and 10 minutes, where there is no one to identify with unless you are human garbage? You get Challengers.
The movie is about two best friends, Patrick and Art, who find themselves infatuated with a hot new rising star in the world of tennis named Tashi Duncan (Zendaya). Over the next few years, the two boys begin to dissolve their friendship over who gets to bag the girl; a girl who seems far more interested in vicariously living through their tennis careers after hers falls short because of an injury.
As the film jumps ahead between the past and the present, we see that Art has married Tashi and become a world champion tennis suffering a long losing streak. On the flip side, Patrick’s life has completely fallen apart, but he joins a tournament in New Rochelle under the guise that he can win $7,000 and buy a place to stay.
It’s not until the day of the tournament that Patrick realizes that he will be linked up against his old friend Art, who was using the tournament to rebound from his string of defeats. The film proceeds to tell the story of three self-absorbed individuals who are all in a race to figure out who is the biggest scumbag in the room.
Modern Hollywood has become so detached from reality that they don’t even know what genuine human emotions and behaviors are anymore. This result has caused the industry to become unable to write multiple film genres that require a deep human connection between the characters and their target demographics.
Challengers is a perfect example of why the romance genre is dead, introducing audiences to three characters who don’t care about one another but use each other to fill the void of their respective selfish desires — a bunch of Stanford liberals such as Zendaya’s Tashi Duncan, a sociopath who cares about using those around her to satisfy her ego.
The two men are no better, the character of Patrick is a narcissist who sees people to achieve the next objective, which is why he is left with no one willing to talk to him The only person who cares about anyone is Art, who is portrayed as a simp in his marriage to Tashi. Then again, he is only with her because he sabotaged his relationship with Patrick in the first place.
From the jump, Challengers tells you that this movie is about morally irredeemable characters —later expecting you to be invested for 131 minutes of runtime. For those of you who just want to see steamy sex scenes, I’m afraid you have bought into a bait and switch.
The core of this movie is not about Tashi’s relationship with the two boys; but about the latter’s relationship with each other. Challengers is filled with homosexual undertones and a lot of male nudity to satisfy an audience that can only be described as gay fans of Degrassi. And it gets only worse from there.
With constant flashbacks to various time periods, the story jumps all over the place. One minute Challengers is taking place in the present and in the very next scene the film abruptly shifts to 13 years in the past, before jumping back to the present day, only to go back 7 years in the past — to the point where it feels like you’re watching a movie that was cut and paste in the wrong order.
There is nothing romantic about this film. So much so that, by comparison, it makes Hallmark movies look like the gold standard of modern romance. As far as the drama goes, Challengers is a teenage drama film that is made for and starring 30-year-old adults.
The chemistry between the characters is so eye-rolling that there were a notable number of people in the theater asking themselves the same question: what am I watching right now? But don’t let that excite you. This film is not so bad that it’s good, it’s so bad that it makes you question why would you even be bothered to watch movies in 2024.
Challengers is a cinematic black pill that will make you wonder if it’s even possible to go back to the world of films that were created a mere 10 years ago.
NEXT: ‘Unsung Hero’ Review – One Of The Biggest Cinematic White Pills Of The Year
Challengers (2024), Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
PROS
- Nothing.
CONS
- Unlikable characters.
- Gay bait and switch.
- Fails as a romantic film.
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