‘Primate’ Review — Dead-Time For Bonzo
It’s January, and you know what that means. Additionally, this is the second year in a row that we’ve received an early January release featuring a weird, off-putting ape. Some reports and social media reactions suggest people are walking out on this one, too; although, this time, it’s for reasons that typically cause gore-hound horror fans to perk up with interest.
RELATED: ‘Keeper’ Review – A Bizarre, Genre-Twisting Nightmare
Primate is the latest entry into the ‘animal attack’ subset within the ‘man-vs-nature’ subgenre of horror, and it involves female companions – and a few people they meet on a flight – returning home to Hawaii to visit the deaf author father (Troy Kotsur) of the main girl (Johnny Sequoyah).
She had a very unconventional upbringing, growing up with a pet chimp named Ben, who understands sign language. Of all the things that can go wrong on a trip this big, Ben comes down with rabies after being bitten by what’s apparently the only infected mongoose in the island state. All hell breaks loose, and the perfect getaway becomes a fight for survival against one fiendishly bad ape.
At its heart, Primate is a tight killer-in-the-house thriller with sprinkles of family drama and girls just wanting to have fun. The only real twist it adds is the face-ripping bestial killer, which is nothing new at all, clearly. If you took the opening scene of 28 Days Later and stretched it out, you’d likely get this movie.
At the very least, everything is executed with a visual style that harkens back to Italian Giallos of Dario Argento, punctuated by the high-contrast red lighting seen in the poster. The proceedings are complete with a catchy synth score that, although Argento collaborators Goblin could have written the music in their sleep, still had me hooked and bobbing along.
The film also stands out due to its use of practical effects. Ben is portrayed by a guy in a suit – Colombian stage actor and trained mime Miguel Hernando Torres Umba – and a puppet for close-up shots. While I noticed a little CGI, it was the type they usually do in post that cleans up movements or hides any flaws. You’d know it if you saw it, but there wasn’t much.
All that was fine; where Primate really falls apart is the story (what there is of one). The script relies on all the same cliches and logical lapses innate to horror that are carried out by dumb characters, coupled with the self-righteous messaging that goes with it. The most egregious example comes when it’s revealed how easy they make it for Ben to rampage.
The family was not counting on a wild animal to devolve and surrender to its basest instincts, and as such, didn’t have a gun or believe in owning one to put down the little terror. When this is pointed out at the worst possible time by the girl who’s supposed to be the ditzy, sleazy one, she is told quite vehemently to ‘F’ off.
(See, you have to love the poor little creatures to the bitter end, even if they start tearing people apart – “This is the way.”)
In the end, this disaster can be laid at the feet of the father. He’s not portrayed as a bad guy – he’s just busy all the time – but his complacent do-gooding is ultimately why all the blood is spilled. He adopted the ape, gave it free rein over the house, spoiled it, and ignored all the warning signs, including the dead mongoose, the bite on Ben, his drooling, and uncharacteristic behavior.
He leaves his daughters and friends alone with the thing for roughly three days, and when he does come to the rescue, the genius’s only weapons are a whistle, his fists, and whatever happens to be lying around. Couldn’t he at least have the sense to invest in tranquilizer darts like Ralph Fiennes in 28 Years Later?
Still, all told, Primate has decently implemented and crafted special effects, and the actors are invested in what they are doing. There is face and jaw-ripping galore, which should satisfy the folks who go to the movies for that sort of thing. However, the average folks with weak stomachs are better off steering clear.
NEXT: ‘28 Years Later’ Review – A Family Drama Trapped In Quarantine
Primate
PROS
- Lighting and effects
- Memorable throwback score
- Delivers on the gore, if that's what you're into
- Not a long movie at all
CONS
- Dumb characters making stupid decisions
- There was one of those pool party montages like the ones in Night Swim I didn't like
- Self-righteous, sabotaging do-gooder messaging
- Produced by Walter Hamada (make of that what you will)
