‘Ahsoka’ Episode 7 Makes You Constantly Say “This Is Stupid”
Lucasfilm released the seventh episode for their most recent Star Wars series Ahsoka and it will constantly have you thinking and saying, “This is stupid!”
The episode opens with General Hera Syndulla standing in some kind of committee hearing where she gets lectured again by Senator Xiono about attempting to stop escaped prisoner Morgan Elsbeth from locating Grand Admiral Thrawn and returning with him to wreak havoc on the New Republic.
The episode appears to attempt to correct the problems of their previous encounter when Hera failed to mention or provide any of the evidence she had gathered that clearly showed Elsbeth had been broken free by dark Jedi and that she was clearly conducting a smuggling operation out of Corellia. On top of that, she had tracked Elsbeth to Seatos where she discovered that she had built the Eye of Scion that was capable of making an intergalactic hyperspace jump.
While Xiono now seemingly has all of this evidence in a report, he decides to reject all of it in favor of lecturing Hera. Remember there is video footage of Elsbeth being sprung from prison by Baylan Skoll and Shin Hati. Nevertheless, he calls the false Jedi a fantasy.
Furthermore, when Hera claims Elsbeth is working as part of the Imperial Remnant, Xiono rejects this. Even when Carson Teva points to Gideon’s actions on Mandalore, he scoffs claiming he’s an independent warlord. However, this is exactly how Palpatine broke up his Empire after he dissolved the Senate. He put warlords in charge. This is very clearly shown in the original Star Wars film. To claim the warlords would not be working together when that’s how the Empire was structured is stupid.
The whole scene is completely unbelievable and is likely only in there for left wing political junkies to jeer at Xiono as a Republican stand in. It’s stupid on all levels.
To elucidate how stupid this is, after Xiono is done lecturing Hera, C-3PO arrives and informs the committee that Senator Leia Organa had authorized Hera’s mission. Not only did Leia authorize the mission, but C-3PO reveals she’s head of the Defense Council and her authority supersedes the committee, which Chancellor Mon Mothma is heading. Dave Filoni, who wrote the episode, clearly did not think this scene through.
After this opening scene, which tries to blind viewers with the nostalgia of C-3PO and Admiral Ackbar who sits on the committee, but says nothing, the show provides a scene of Ahsoka going through a number of lightsaber forms as an old training hologram of Anakin from The Clone Wars instructs her. It’s just more nostalgia bait with the promise of more as Ahsoka informs Huyang there are more than 20 of the recordings.
Following this, Huyang informs Ahsoka they are about to come out of hyperspace and lectures her about her gamble of riding the star whales to whatever their destination will be. This piece of dialogue only makes sense if you ignore the idea that Sabine did not inform Ahsoka of the map and where it lead to when she first unlocked something. It’s something the show has done so they want viewers to do as well. Stupid.
Nevertheless, the star whales arrive at Peridea, where Ahsoka and Huyang quickly discover that Thrawn’s forces have mined the surrounding space. The mines do absolutely no damage to the Purrgil let alone Ahsoka’s ship.
Thrawn’s line from the previous episode about destroying the whales with prejudice is completely null and void. The Eye of Scion does not even engage Ahsoka or the star whales whatsoever. Instead, the fighters that posed absolutely no threat in previous episodes are sent out to destroy her. Like that’s going to happen. Stupid.
Regardless, Ahsoka does try to avoid them by heading into a debris field, remember when Han Solo did that in Empire Strikes Back? This is to Thrawn’s liking as he orders the fighters to pull off to let Ahsoka hide in the debris field.
Elsbeth’s role in the series has now been reduced to questioning every thing Thrawn does. The only purpose of this is so that Thrawn can explain to her why he’s doing so audiences can think he’s some kind of tactical genius. It’s utterly stupid given the whole purpose of Elsbeth coming to this galaxy is seemingly due to her knowledge of Thrawn’s tactical prowess and wants to usher in a new order in the other galaxy.
Not only is it stupid to degrade Elsbeth’s character in this manner, but it ends up making Thrawn look like a complete idiot later in the episode because he eventually chooses to have the three Night Sister witches locate Ahsoka and allow him to flush her out of the debris field and into the battle on the ground where Baylan Skoll and Shin Hati have located Ezra Bridger and Sabine Wren.
Thrawn justifies flushing Ahsoka out and having her be reunited by claiming it’s bought him time to load up the Chimaera so they can depart the galaxy and leave Ahsoka behind. He could have achieved all of that by just letting her hide out in the debris field instead of flushing her out. Again, stupid.
However, even if Thrawn didn’t flush her out, Ahsoka was going to leave the debris field to find Sabine given she used a Force ability to be able to see where she was on the planet. Remember when Luke called out to Leia in Empire Strikes Back?
But, I’m getting ahead of myself. Before Ahsoka locates Sabine, the show features Sabine and Ezra discussing what had happened in the time Ezra defeated Thrawn and the Empire at Lothal. It’s one of the most utterly stupid conversations to exist in Star Wars.
Sabine constantly tells Ezra everything is complicated without providing him any details and seemingly giving him false hope that they are going to be able to return to the main galaxy. Bridger doesn’t press the matter at all.
Following this, Skoll and Hati locate Bridger and Wren while the Great Mothers locate Ahsoka. At the same time, Ahsoka performs her Force location ability to find Sabine. The battle begins with Captain Enoch using the turbo lasers from the Eye of Scion to bombard the area where Ahsoka had been hiding out.
While the turbo lasers do absolutely nothing but destroy the bones of the dead star whales, Thrawn sends out his fighters who also do nothing. Again, stupid.
Next, we get some dialogue between Skoll and Hati. Skoll instructs Hati to kill Bridger and Wren, but reveals he’s going on a different path. This too is stupid given last episode he was telling Hati all about how he had trained her for a certain purpose and now he’s sending her off on something completely different.
A chase scene then ensues with the nomads and Hati pursuing Bridger, Wren, and the hermit crab people. It’s laughably stupid as the nomads are Star Trek red shirts and prove no threat. The hermit crabs are also turned into a joke as their slingshot attacks do nothing despite it being an extremely powerful weapon in real life. Again, stupid.
The chase eventually ends with none of the hermit crabs being damaged. However, the nomads do eventually disable one of their floating homes. This leads Bridger to circle the wagons. However, it’s not actually used as a defense perimeter as one might see in a western where travelers used their wagons as cover against bandits and the like.
Nope, it actually turns the battlefield into a maze. Again, stupid.
While all of this is happening Skoll engages Ahsoka who has now located Sabine. She jumps off her ship far enough away so she’s actually not involved in the battle between the nomads and Bridger and Wren. Instead she faces off against Skoll in one versus one combat. The idea that she doesn’t just jump into the main thick of the combat is stupid. However, the lightsaber fight between Skoll and Ahsoka was entertaining.
Also, before she makes the jump off her ship she instructs Huyang to distract the fighters. It’s an utterly ridiculous premise given Thrawn, who they have been trying to tell us is a master tactician, should have just instructed the fighters to mow down the Noti and kill Bridger and Wren. It doesn’t happen. It’s stupid.
While Bridger and Wren begin to fight off the nomads, one of the highlights of the episode is Bridger informing Wren that the Force is his ally and that’s all he needs. While this is a call back to Yoda instructing Luke in Empire Strikes Back it actually works in this case and doesn’t feel like nostalgia bait. It clearly is nostalgia bait, but it’s also what the Jedi believe. Props for this one good piece of dialogue.
Nevertheless, the action is just as terrible as the previous episode. Wren is repeatedly hit multiple times by blaster bolts and even melee combat, but like last episode suffers absolutely zero damage.
The show eventually cuts back to Skoll and Ahsoka fighting. As Skoll informs her that she can’t defeat him, Huyang, who was supposed to be moving the fighters away from the battlefield, has all of a sudden returned and fires a salvo at both Ahsoka and Baylan Skoll.
What’s hilarious about this is it highlights how utterly stupid Thrawn truly is. The man who talks about sacrificing his troops does not order his fighters to fire on the nomads and Hati in order to kill Wren and Bridger. His gunships decide to land and drop off his Night Troopers instead of blasting the Noti caravan into oblivion and either killing Bridger and Wren or at least severely maiming them. Just utterly stupid.
Ahsoka is able to escape from Skoll, steal his mount, and ride off to try and aid Sabine and Bridger. Skoll sees this and then abandons the battlefield.
The Night Troopers finally arrive on the battlefield and quickly surround Bridger and Sabine Wren. However, instead of actually engaging in their mission they just stand around. When Shin Hati instructs them to destroy both Wren and Bridger they still just stand around. When she commands them again to kill them, they still refuse to fire and just stand there.
They finally attack after Ahsoka rides in and Force blasts three of them and faces off against Hati. The Night Troopers are the new red shirts and easily mowed down by Ahsoka, Sabine, and Ezra.
Thrawn then calls off all his troops and claims the losses he suffered are acceptable because it bought them time to load up the ship. However, as mentioned above it’s an utterly ridiculous claim given he could have just left Tano in the debris field, blew Bridger and Wren to bits, and still loaded up the ship. Instead, he’s united them all, lost a number of Night Troopers as well as Skoll and Hati.
The episode ends with Ahsoka offering Hati a chance at redemption. She flees, but Ahsoka stops Bridger and Wren from pursuing her. It doesn’t make any sense. Again, stupid.
Ahsoka then has a brief reunion with Bridger while Sabine informs Ahsoka she thought she died without showing any of the emotion that would convey her words.
To sum it up, this episode was utterly stupid on all front. It had an interesting lightsaber fight between Skoll and Ahsoka and one good line of dialogue from Ezra Bridger. Everything else? You guessed it: stupid.
What did you make of Ahsoka Episode 7?