The Top 10 Worst Films Of 2023
Jacob Smith
|
Another year, another lineup of the year’s most abysmal film releases that Hollywood has to offer. 2023 was the year that the studio establishment took aim at men in the Western world and promoted several projects full of degeneracy — with some of their films going as far as declaring war to God Himself.
When Hollywood movies are bad, they are BAD — sadly, that downward trend is getting worse, not better. This year saw the release of a handful of bad films that absolutely no one wanted to watch; some of which could be considered to be some of the worst films seen in the last two decades.
However, we had to narrow the list down to 10 — not an easy task — but here they are, starting with possibly everyone’s favorite; a favorite punching bag, that is.
10. The Marvels
We start off the list with what is the worst movie of the year for many critics, The Marvels. Modern Hollywood believes that if there’s a superhero that has a female lead, everyone involved behind the camera must also be a woman.
It doesn’t matter whether those women are qualified to be in their positions; the only thing that matters is gender representation. The Marvels is a film that is written by three different women — namely director Nia DaCosta, Megan McDonnell, and Elissa Karasik, who combine forces to produce one of the most disjointed, unorganized films in recent memory.
Marvel executives believed Kamala Khan’s character would be a sleeper hit for the movie. They thought that audiences would relate to her character because they were tricked by the lies the mainstream media manufactured about her popularity.
The biggest sin of this film is that there’s nothing to talk about. There are no cringe-worthy moments for YouTubers to make bank off, there’s zero emphasis on woke dialogue, and there’s not even a coherent story for audiences to follow.
Whether The Marvels is worse than the Eternals is up for debate. However, there is no arguing the fact that it is an all-time, basement-bottom-five MCU film.
9. The Creator
There was no way to watch the trailer for The Creator and not think that this is some kind of predictive programming for transhumanism.
It’s also quite interesting to see how many movies have integrated artificial intelligence into integral parts of the story, as if somehow Hollywood knew by the time these films came out artificial intelligence would be a key topic of society-wide discussion.
The Creator takes elements from the Bible and perverts them, making the protagonists of this film the robots and leaving humanity as the film’s villains, which shouldn’t come as a shock to any of you at this point.
Those who promote transhumanism are looking for an endgame where, one day, humanity and artificial intelligence will merge into one being. The deception of this reality is these people want artificial intelligence to REPLACE humanity, not live in coexistence with it.
Disney spent $72 billion to acquire 20th Century Fox and their films. The Creator proves that sale is just another massive waste of corporate money.
8. Scream VI
Spoiler alert: The white people are the killers! Are you still with me? Okay, here goes.
Scream is a franchise so woke that it took the actors arguing over the Israel-Palestine conflict to finally kill it. The diverse characters display a Jason Voorhees-like level of immortality and it makes the film feel like a parody-within-a-parody.
The writers clearly put more effort into shooting a scene that lectures their audience about date rape (even though the college kid cited as an example was drunker than the girl he was trying to sleep with) than telling any sort of interesting story.
The big twist of the movie (as if you or I care) is that the killers are the family of Sam’s boyfriend from the previous film. The entire premise of this movie only works on the assumption that Sam, who was in a serious relationship with her boyfriend during Scream (2022), had never seen ANY of his family members before the events of that film.
This film is stupid beyond human belief. There is no universe where a movie that is this easy to predict can be considered good by anyone with an IQ above a football.
If I drove down to Bourbon Street in New Orleans, stripped down naked, put a kazoo up my bum, and started to whistle Dixie, it would make more sense than anything this film has to offer.
7. House Party
Back in January, I said if somehow this movie isn’t in my top five worst films of the year, we are in for a long painful year. Well, here it is at number seven.
House Party is a failure right out of the gate. For a movie that is listed as a comedy, it is about as funny as watching the George Floyd arrest video. Over 95% of the humor in this film does not land, and to the awkward point where the silence in the crowd after a joke is painfully noticeable.
The plot of is paper thin, as the protagonists claim that they’re doing all this for the main character’s daughter but, outside of one scene in the very beginning, you get no indication that Kevin is a good father in any way, shape, or form.
The story doesn’t matter here; the only reason why this film exists is the celebrity worship of hip hop stars and basketball players. And by the time LeBron James shows up to act, this movie has been long dead.
The third act of the movie goes off the rails by detouring into the occult via an on-screen representation of the Illuminati. You heard that right, a satanic Illuminati stand-in is turned into a plot point; because reasons.
This is all supposed to be played for laughs, but for most of us who are still waiting for Jeffrey Epstein’s Client List to be exposed, the humor of elite satanic celebrities running the world is too close to the nose to be taken as humor it ends up bringing the entire film to a screeching halt.
6. The Color Purple
If Barbie was the flag bearer this year for white girl feminism, The Color Purple is the flag bearer for black girl feminism. Warner Bros’ remake is a quasi-musical that sends the message loud and strong that black women do not need to be bound by men under any circumstance.
A film about a black woman in the South during the early 1900s, the biggest problem in her life isn’t racism, it is being within speaking distance of virtually any man.
The problem with modern Hollywood propaganda is the only way they can promote a message like this is to portray men in films as demonic, and then pretend that is all there is to it.
If every man in the film is a rapist, abuser, or coward then you will have no choice but to reject the patriarchy and accept the matriarchy, right?
Wrong. This subversive excuse for a movie is nothing more than Hollywood’s latest episode of destroying the harmony of women and men by suckering them into sitting through two and a half hours of empty victim porn crafted to prop up a false worldview.
While we are at it, let’s prop up some racism and lesbianism too. Good grief! Don’t even bother giving any of your money to this dreadful Time Vampire of a film.
5. Knock at the Cabin
This film begs for the audience’s empathy with this nonsensical story of a Biblical sacrifice that hedges its bets that said audience will connect with a gay couple and their adopted Asian daughter.
The recurring theme of the film involves director M. Night Shyamalan stopping the movie to insert scenes showing the couple’s struggle with homophobia as a means of convincing everyone that their love is strong and tested, hence why they were chosen.
See, to save humanity, God seeks the love of a random gay couple to prevent the end of the world. Yeah, sure buddy.
While that might be good enough for people who only value diversity and inclusion, it is not enough for those being asked to spend almost two hours of their time watching this joyless thriller. Knock at the Cabin is void of any tension or drama, the characters are unbelievable, and the story never makes it off the ground.
When the big Shyamalan twist reveals who these people are and why they were here, you realize that he has wasted your time yet again. If you were waiting for any shred of excitement to happen in this one, you were waiting in vain.
Knock at the Cabin is a mundane poor excuse for a horror movie written by three men and directed by a man whose only source of creativity is finding new ways to disappoint his audience… whoever they might be in reality.
4. The Blackening
It’s been a decade since the rise of Black Lives Matter plagued the United States of America, and racial division hasn’t been this bad in a very, very long time.
In just 10 years, a new standard has been set for race relations in this country, and the ensuing reality is this: black people hate white people, they can’t trust white people, they don’t want to be around white people, and anyone who calls this out is either a racist or a coon depending on who it’s coming from.
The Blackening is a film written by two college-educated idiots who aren’t even qualified to run a 7-Eleven in Reseda but the film has been allowed to fail upwards in a progressive Hollywood system allowing people of color to work in positions they aren’t qualified for.
The film is full of unqualified (or underqualified) actors willing to work for cheap as they slog around and repeat some of the most horrendous lines of dialogue that has been written since The NBC soap opera Passions.
It is akin to ‘Black Twitter’ the movie: A movement that is led by black women and their gay male allies; a movement that is extremely hateful of white people, nonwhites who align with traditional American values, and black people who refuse to be an ally of the New Black movement.
The film spends more time talking about white people than having a plot, but the Stanford and DePaul University graduates make it very clear, if you’re a black person who voted for Trump, you deserve to die.
3. Joy Ride
If there’s one name in Hollywood who’s become ole reliable for cinematic degeneracy, it’s Seth Rogen. If he is producing a film, you can guarantee that you’re in for the most insufferable film of the year.
This time instead of a bunch of minors, we get a group of 30-year-old female Asian burnouts — thanks to Hollywood’s diversity, equity, and inclusion mandates that have swept the industry into giving jobs to unqualified filmmakers. Joy Ride pretends to have a thinly veiled plot of an Asian woman going to China to meet her birth mother, but the focus is unfiltered degeneracy and progressive soapboxing.
In this movie, the setup for a joke is a random white kid saying something obscenely racist to a young Asian girl, and then in return, the Asian girl attacks the racist kid and the crowd laughs… That’s how the writers believe the joke is supposed to play out!
However, there’s nothing funny about an act of racism and it’s not comedy when a character violently beats that person up. Another setup for a joke is when the Chinese actress who is dating a Christian boyfriend lies about her sexual past to him while her friends bring up every depraved thing she has ever done with other men, and this is presented as comedy.
As someone who has grown fond of South Korean Cinema over the last several years, most people from South Korea or China who watch a film like this would hate to see that this is how their people are viewed in the United States.
A film that manages to take the lowest expectations possible and somehow surpass them, just when you think that Seth Rogen could not bury the bar any further, Joy Ride is the perfect example of everything that is wrong with Hollywood.
2. 80 For Brady
Following in the footsteps of LeBron James, Tom Brady is also cosplaying as a Hollywood producer; like LeBron, Brady manages to produce one of the worst films of the year. The idea here is pretty simple: get four Hollywood actresses with long-standing legacies in the business and put them in a movie that revolves around Tom Brady.
The film is too safe to be anything memorable and uses the severely broken Hollywood comedy model for its laughs. Just like the earlier entry House Party, 80 for Brady is nothing more than an ego boost for a multi-millionaire athlete.
Everything about this film is fake. From the script to the actors’ performances and the cameos that are supposed to be entertaining but are, more than anything, simply eye-rolling, more than anything — in every sense of the term.
1. Dicks: The Musical
My #1 worst movie of 2023 may very well be the worst movie I have seen in the 8 years of my career as a film reviewer.
Blasphemy, degeneracy, incest, and progressivism all rolled up into one God-awful movie. Dicks: the Musical is a film about two pillow biters pretending to be straight, womanizing, misogynistic businessmen who also happen to be brothers.
In an asinine attempt to bring their parents back together, the two men fall in love with themselves, have sex, and get married. All while a flamboyant homosexual man plays God.
If you believe in a higher power, then you would have to believe everyone associated with this film will get a Disney speed pass to the lake of burning fire. This is a film that only appeals to rich New York Joe Biden voters and nobody else.
The film doesn’t have enough material to justify a 80-minute runtime but it has all of the diversity and inclusion checkboxes needed to win a positive review on Rotten Tomatoes.
Society is at the bottom of the slippery slope and we are now digging up land as the only means of going any further. Unfortunately for the sake of the box office, next to no one actually saw this movie but that does not mean Hollywood won’t stop making films like this.
2023 had a strong hill of stinkers but Dicks: The Musical is P4P the worst of the worst.
NEXT: The Top 10 Worst Films Of 2022
More About:Movies