‘Alone In The Dark’ Director Uwe Boll Trolls ‘Borderlands’ And Eli Roth For Its Failure: “Now You Wish I Directed”
The abysmal bombing of Borderlands brought someone who knows a thing or two about making flops based on video games out of the woodwork of obscurity to gloat.
RELATED: ‘Borderlands’ Review – A Soulless Studio Film That Deserves Its Failure
Uwe Boll, the director most noted for panned Bloodrayne and Alone In The Dark adaptations, thinks he could have done a better job than Eli Roth.
With the help of an image from IGN on X, Boll scoffed at Borderlands and its $8.8 million gross against a $115M budget. “Haha,” he wrote. “My movies were rated R and made more money than this. Now you wish I directed.”
Predictably, not everyone agrees and there are also issues with Boll’s math. User StopSkeletons brought forth the real numbers for four of Boll’s films, each of which was based on a game series that was popular once upon a time.
“House of the Dead opened $5.5m, final gross $13.8m. Alone on the Dark opened $2.8m, final gross $12.6m. Bloodrayne opened $1.5m, final gross $3.6m. Dungeon Siege opened $3.2m, final gross $13m,” StopSkeletons responded. “[FFS], you’re making me defend Eli Roth here!”
Putting the totals of each together, they cross $9M, which means if Boll has anything to brag about, it’s how much his movies have made cumulatively. In his career, he has grossed well over $8M or $9M – just not off the back of a singular release.
Boll defended himself and his filmography using a different figure that indicates no monetary value, but it’s a big number. With a custom image, he claims his movies earned a whopping 41 billion (with a “b”) illegal downloads.
While Boll unleashed Revenge of the Nerds gifs against his critics and nonbelievers, others questioned StopSkeletons’ figures, maybe to save face for Boll, by bringing up inflation – though it doesn’t matter in this case.
StopSkeletons reminds people there is nothing to adjust and that Boll took advantage of German tax loopholes that are now closed.
Boll’s supporters, meanwhile, want to see him have it out with Roth for supremacy. “Eli Roth/Uwe Boll boxing match, please,” replied Naro Video in a quoted post. “Winner gets to direct the Zelda movie.”
User Allison Online shared a Simpsons meme of Bart complaining Boll is “scoring off” him which the director reposted.
But the real victim of this roast is the flailing Borderlands which is so bad that Boll wonders if Stride Gum is going to bring back a stunt out of their public relations trickbag.
“But will the gamers contact the makers of Stride Gum and persuade them to give a free pack of gum to each person that signs the petition Eli Roth can no longer direct?” he pondered in a post including Borderlands’ Rotten Tomatoes rating.
Around 2008, Stride Gum started a petition aiming to prevent Uwe Boll from making any more movies. As a bonus, they gave away a pack of gum to anyone who signed it, just as Boll described. Their campaign came and went with no effect.
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