‘The Acolyte’ To Reportedly “Lose Everyone” After Third Episode: “Get Ready For Pronouns In Star Wars”
According to a new report, while the two-part premiere of Leslye Headland’s The Acolyte will come across as ‘inoffensive’ to long-time Star Wars fans, the series’ third episode will “lose everyone” thanks to some truly abysmal creative decisions.
Word of The Acolyte‘s forthcoming shark-jumping was first raised to the public courtesy of noted film critic and Film Threat founder Chris Gore during a June 4th appearance on the Geek+Gamers new outlet’s daily livestream.
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In light of his having previewed the series’ first four episodes, Gore was pressed by his fellow panelists – G+G founder Jeremy Griggs and noted YouTube personalities Ryan Kinel and The Critical Drinker – if he could offer any insight as to just what viewers could expect from the series.
In turn, he unfortunately asserted, “These first two episodes are pretty basic. They get you into the story and the world. Episode three, I’m warning you now, it is going to completely lose everyone.”
“They completely redefine what the Force is,” detailed Gore. “You’re going to see two mothers conceive twins. A bunch of witches that are – it is, basically, the Jedi turn into cops and Child Protective Services. It’s like the CPS of the galaxy.”
Once again reiterating, “Okay, episode one and two, whatever, it’s fine,” the critic then revealed, “[But] Three and four, get ready for pronouns in Star Wars.”
“It’s happening,” he added. “I’m literally considering having a funeral for Star Wars. Literally, get everyone to dress up, wear dark glasses, give eulogies, play organ church music in the background because after episode three of The Acolyte, it will cause a lot of discussion.”
Continuing in his criticisms of the series, Gore opined, “Aside from the fact that the show is cheap looking – For all the money they spent it looks cheap. The exterior scenes in forest [look] shot on a sound stage. It looks very, very obvious. – It lacks male energy.”
“I don’t think any straight man should be in charge of a women’s cosmetics brand or a women’s fashion brand, and by that same idea, I think that the women who put together the show cannot make Star Wars for the audience that has loved it for years,” he lamented. “It is just devoid of everything you used to love. Not even shreds.”
(To this end, later in the show, Gore would further note that “The white guys [in the show] are all sidelined or weak.)
Turning back to The Acolyte‘s third episode, Gore then warned, “That third episode, it changes the world. It’ll change things forever, and I don’t think anyone’s going to like it.”
“You know we’ll get a lot of lesbians in space,” he concluded. “that’ll be great, lesbian witches that conceive children, so get ready for episode three. The first two tonight are going to be like, whatever, it’s a police procedural with a murder, and all of it, none of it, makes sense.”
For those curious or sadistic enough to subject themselves to yet another Disney Star Wars production, The Acolyte‘s first two episodes are now streaming on Disney Plus.
Meanwhile, the series’ allegedly disastrous third episode is currently set to air on June 11th.
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