Ask anyone what the worst movie ever is and inevitably – depending on the generation – you will hear the titles Plan 9 or Troll 2 mentioned. Some might nominate MCU movies of the last few years, but every answer is a matter of preference and perspective.
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When it comes to those involved with a particular film, that perspective is shaped by good old first-hand experience. Take WWE icon The Undertaker, for example. The Dead Man isn’t known for gracing big screens the way his contemporaries John Cena, Dave Bautista, and others are.
He has dabbled in the craft of acting from time to time, but one of the reasons he never took off as a movie star is because his earliest job had such horrible quality according to the living legend that he wanted nothing to do with Hollywood afterward.
On the ESPN podcast Cheap Heat with Peter Rosenberg, Taker recalled getting an offer to try out for the part of a menacing, but comical, alien mercenary named Hutch in the 1991 action comedy Suburban Commando that starred top guy and old rival Hulk Hogan.
“They called me and said, ‘Hogan is doing this movie in LA, we want you to read for it.’ I read for the movie, got the part. Worst movie ever. It was awful. Truly, truly awful. But, that kept me busy for a while,” he explained.
A script pitched initially for Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger, Suburban Commando was acquired by New Line Cinema and given to Hogan as a vehicle to follow 1989’s No Holds Barred.
The plot centers on interstellar bounty hunter Shep Ramsey (Hogan) who lies low on Earth to repair his ship and escape a reptilian space tyrant. Renting a room at the home of Charlie Wilcox (Christopher Lloyd) and his family, Shep runs afoul of a mime, bikers, neighborhood kids, criminals, and a concierge for the sake of hilarity.
Undertaker’s character Hutch was one half of a duo of trackers that followed Shep to Earth for retrieval and more hijinx. He is mostly mute to play up the mean look until one moment when he speaks and reveals he has the voice of a six-year-old.
It was pure schlock though it had heavyweights like Hogan, Taker, Christopher Lloyd, The Shining’s Shelly Duvall, and ‘The House That Freddy Built’ behind it. Despite the cast and the studios’ rising stock at the time, the film performed dismally and fell short of its $11 million budget.
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However, some Millennials and some Gen Xers fondly remember Suburban Commando and loved it for what it was. They were young Hulkamaniacs who avidly watched all of New Line’s noteworthy output, especially their Ninja Turtle offerings.
Hogan made more movies, though most of them were straight-to-video dollar-bin fare before offers dried up, and Undertaker only had minor small-screen appearances to his credit in later years.
Neither made it as a draw outside the ring, but at least they always had that.
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