Hilarious Petition Wants To Make Superman Fat and Don a Neckbeard!
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. No, it’s Neckbeard Superman! Does this sound off to you? It definitely does to me. But if a new petition by The American Neckbeard Institute has its way then that will be the future of the Man of Steel as we know it!
Actually, we think this petition is a complete joke, but you never really can tell nowadays. The petition which is set to be delivered to DC Comics and Warner Bros. Studios when it hits 5,000 signatures wants Superman to be representative for “fat neckbeards.”
The petition is an apparent jab at the comic industry that has for the last few years gone out of its way to try and represent every group possible regardless of the quality of content. This isn’t very different from a group of people who wanted to see Captain America become gay in the comics a few years back.
Here’s what the Neckbeard Institute is demanding:
For too long, us fat neckbeards have had no positive role models to look up to. And we don’t want to invent a new hero or character that reflects us because we’re too lazy and not very creative. So instead, we’d like to hijack an already iconic character and apply our attributes to them. We have chosen Superman, because he’s an iconic symbol of fitness and strength, which are attributes that make us feel bad, but also envious. So please, we implore those at DC Comics and Warner Brothers Studios to make Superman into a fat, neckbeard.
Also, he should have a fedora that shields him from kryptonite and be a MGTOW that tells Lois Lane to GTFO of his life. He doesn’t need to be wasting his time saving that chick all the time. He should spend most of his time getting in arguments on the internet, then flying to the houses of those who annoy him and burning down their houses with his heat vision.
If you do not make this happen for us, we will cry like babies and boycott all Superman films and comics forever. Thank you.
The second sentence of the first paragraph hits the nail right on the head for many fans who have complained about the artificial rebranding of known characters to meet some agenda or quota. “We don’t want to invent a new hero or character that reflects us because we’re too lazy and not very creative.” Here’s looking at you female Thor.
One thing that’s bothered me is this idea that comic book fans are somehow this group of haters who don’t want to be inclusive. This idea is both wrong and insulting. And it’s been reflective in the buying habits of the general readership.
This petition is just a response to many people on social media platforms who have tried to take well- established characters and rebrand them to fit a socio-political narrative. They cast aside good storytelling and quality character building to shove the socio-political narrative in your face.
Looking back at Superman, I would hate to see the Man of Steel turned into a Fat Neckbeard. But the message is clear. If you want to create a character then make one. Sexuality, gender, color, and race are all but attributes none of us are able to control. Those attributes should be factors, but not the core of any character. If they are the core, they just become token characters.
The petition already has 2,643 signatures. They are over halfway. Will you be signing? Don’t you want “fat neckbeards” to have a fictional character represent them and their way of life?
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