‘She-Hulk Attorney: at Law’ Episode 4 Review – Nobody Wants To Date A Wine Aunt
I’d like to take a moment and personally blame every single person reading this review for my own personal pain and suffering – because if the writers of She-Hulk: Attorney at Law have taught me anything, it’s that audiences exist solely for me to project my own insecurities and bad life decisions onto.
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Welcome back to our latest episode of wine aunt/dog mom entertainment, and to start things off, I’ve got some bad news.
If you thought there was no way that anything could top last week’s “Twerking Hulk” episode in terms of channel-changing quality, I regret to inform you that it only took seven days for the Disney Plus series to lower the bar even further.
Let’s put it this way: after sitting down and reaching the conclusion of She-Hulk’s fourth episode, Is This Not Real Magic?, my immediate reaction was…
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Thirteen minutes later, and I was wishing that I was not only eight-years old again, but that Chris Benoit was my dad.
But since the editors here at Bounding Into Comics won’t allow me to submit video of myself succumbing to my post-viewing urge to jump into oncoming traffic as a legitimate review, let’s get a little more into detail as to why this episode is thus far the worst of the entire series – even moreso than its Bruce Banner-emasculating premiere.
The episodes ‘A plot’ involves Wong, the Sorcerer Supreme, seeking Jessica’s help in using the law to stop Donny Blaze, a former Kamar Taj student-turned-failing stage magician, from using magic for his personal gain.
The reason for Blaze catching Wong’s attention? During a stage show, Blaze accidentally teleports a young party girl by the name of Madisynn into the Sorcerer Supreme’s home, an act which interrupts his The Sopranos watching session and alerts him to the performer’s dangerous and untrained use of the mystical arts.
Folks, when head writer Jessica Gao told Variety that “none of us [in the series writer’s room] are that adept at writing rousing trial scenes”, she was as serious as a plane crash into a children’s hospital.
Not only does the entire legal angle of this episode make absolutely zero sense and hinge entirely on Wong being dumbed down for the sake of Gao’s favored ‘fish out of water‘ comedy, but its attempt at presenting a ‘humorous’ witness instead subjects us to the absolute comedy gold of non-stop drunken white girl jokes.
That’s right: it’s 2022, and progressive women still think ‘White Girl Wasted’ jokes are peak comedy.
Honestly, I’ve seen episodes of Diners, Drives-Ins, and Dives that have had more compelling storylines than this garbage.
Of course, aside from how Marvel no longer cares about anything outside of providing fodder for Tumblr gif sets, if there’s one thing this series has shown us its that single, middle-aged progressive women in Hollywood hate men.
This episode is no exception, as its ‘B plot’ revolves around Jen’s attempt to use a dating app and her subsequent discovery that while no one is interested in dating her usual, career woman-self, but everyone wants a piece of She-Hulk.
Not only that, but Jen is further disappointed to find that every guy who agrees to go out with her is the most straw-man stereotypes of trash men possible.
(Also, it should be pointed out that for a series whose parent company is so vocally against female objectification, it has no issue proudly featuring an image of Captain America’s butt as her phone background.)
Saying that the women behind this show are narcissistic would not be an insult, but rather a summation of the facts.
Why do I say this? Well, the only man that manages to win her heart comes across less like a human being and more like a robot whose personality was programmed on pop-feminist fan fiction.
An attractive and muscular doctor, Jen’s not-Tinder match arrives to their date and immediately declares he doesn’t want to talk about himself and asks Jen to “talk about herself”, later intently – almost creepily so, as if reading from a ‘How To Seduce A Middle Aged Woman’ guide – asks Jen to “tell me more about how you felt” about her first day at her new job, and voluntarily chooses to read her copy of Roxane Gay’s Bad Feminist when left alone in her apartment for an extended period of time.
Everything about this show feels like it was written for the middle-aged women living in New York or Los Angeles who haven’t ever been in a functioning relationship. I mean, there is nobody else who could identify with this content besides them.
Hilariously, their entire fan fiction is undercut by the fact that after spending the night with Jen and awaking to find her in human-form, the doctor immediately leaves because she looks nothing like the woman he went to bed with.
This would actually make for prime comedy if the writers had any self-awareness regarding their worldview, but sadly, there’s no humor to be found here. Despite being marketed as comedy, it’s clear that the last thing the showrunners truly cared about was making audiences laugh.
The entire time I was watching this episode, I found myself debating whether slap-fighting a hungry lion with only my junk or watching any more of this show would be the less excruciating experience.
As the credits rolled on what is, despite Jen’s in-show tease, quite possibly the most unfunny stinger of all time, I found myself no closer to an answer.
Anyone who tells you that She-Hulk: Attorney at Law “isn’t that bad” probably would have told you the same thing about the structural damage to the North Tower right before it collapsed.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law is hands down the worst piece of content in the history of Disney Plus – that is until Ironheart debuts next year.
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