It seems that the skepticism from fans regarding The CW’s live-action Powerpuff Girls series may very well have been justified, as an alleged script leak from the production’s pilot episode has uncovered a story filled with a number of shockingly bad story ideas, including the eponymous heroines growing up to become sex-obsessed adults and Professor Utonium being depicted as a stereotypically abusive ‘celebrity dad.’
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According to the supposed Diablo Cody (Jennifer’s Body) and Heather Regnier (Sleepy Hollow) penned script, Powerpuff will follow the tired ‘deconstruction’ model seen in so much recent super hero media, beginning with the heroic trio finding themselves “outlawed by Townsville for accidentally killing a mad man.”
Right off the bat, fans of the original series are sure to be disappointed, as the pilot reveals that the first Powerpuff Girls cartoon was nothing more than an ‘in-universe’ cash-in by Professor Utonium on the heroines’ identities, with an adult Bubbles even complaining at one point that the cartoon had “totally whitewashed” the girls.
In fact, throughout the episode, it is established that Utonium was constantly exploiting his daughter’s celebrity for money (which he then quickly squandered).
Not only that, but he is also seen being emotionally abusive to Sara Bellum, the Mayor’s former assistant whom he dated for a period of years before the aforementioned abuse took its toll on their relationship.
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It is also revealed that Mojo Jojo was not a monkey, but in fact, Professor Utonium’s former lab partner, who eventually grew to resent the Powerpuff Girls “since he’d helped Drake [Utonium] discover Chemical X, the mutagenic substance that gave the girls their powers,” and had wanted to use its mysterious properties to grant himself superpowers instead.
Ultimately, Mojo Jojo was killed prior to the pilot by Blossom, an action which plays heavily into her decision to leave the hero’s life behind.
In his stead, the role of series antagonist falls to the evil scientists’ son, Jojo, a young man in his early-20s who currently serves as the Mayor of Townsville.
Unsurprisingly, Jojo is written as the walking representation of every disingenuous strawman created by critical race and social justice theorists, right down to the fact that he complains that his opponent in the upcoming mayoral race is only beating him because “she’s not a white man.”
“You know, you hear about reverse discrimination. But until it happens to you…” Jojo at one point says to his secretary, Gina. “No offense you totally earned your position. Optics don’t hurt though.”
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Jojo’s moment as the writer’s sockpuppet concludes with the young man asserting that “There is one thing people love more than virtue signaling, Gina.”
“Security. Safety.” says Jojo. “And I can provide that.”
Blossom (Chloe Bennett), is portrayed as having moved on from her childhood heroics and now works “at a Boston-area biotech firm” and is in an established relationship with a young man named Clive.
Sadly, this rather ‘normal’ turn for Blossom is about as much respect as the series shows to the girls’ original identities, especially when compared to the treatment received by her cooler-color-coordinated sisters.
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The trio’s more-reserved and innocently optimistic member, Bubbles (Dove Cameron), is now a washed-up Hollywood celebrity “hoping to capitalize on her childhood fame.”
She’s had “two stints in rehab and three failed reality show pilots” since leaving Townsville, only returning at the start of the series in order to film a ‘comeback’ documentary based on her life.
In an attempt to drive home how ‘adult’ the series is, Bubbles’ sexuality is also put front and center, with the former superhero even being teased over a time when her sisters threatened to “leak your nudes everywhere!”
There’s also a moment when, after Bubbles quips that the name of her documentary is ‘Bubbles. Is. Back!”, her sister Buttercup retorts, “Not to be confused with your other film, ‘Bubbles on her back.’”
However, it should be noted that it’s unclear whether this is a joke made at the expense of Bubbles’ sexual propensity or if, in-universe, she actually ‘starred’ in such a film, as the script does not provide any further details on the topic.
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As for Buttercup, gone are her tomboy attitude and angst, instead replaced with the social media pandering qualities of a generic ‘strong female character’ and a character whose description amounts to little more than ‘sex-obsessed lesbian.’
At multiple times in the script, Cody, Regnier, and the studio go out of their way to highlight Buttercup’s sexuality.
When out on an investigative mission into a mysterious ‘looming evil’ that Professor Utonium believes is threatening Townsville, Bubbles catches Buttercup “making eyes with a hot girl” at a bar.
As Bubbles reminds her sister that they’re here to investigate, Buttercup quickly retorts “I’m here to pick up bi-curious townies.”
Later, while the girls are recalling a story from their childhood involving Professor Utonium’s ex-girlfriend, Sara, Buttercup broaches the subject of her father’s sex life, saying to her sisters, “I can’t believe they used to have sex. Can you imagine Drake [Utonium]? I bet he’s mechanical.”
The next morning, Blossom walks in on the sight of Buttercup sleeping with “the woman she eyed at the bar the night before.” After Blossom apologizes for interrupting her sister, Buttercup responds, “It’s fine. We’re done, right? I’d say six times is enough.”
This is to say nothing of the various bits of lingo and humor thrown around throughout the script, almost all of which feels as if it was written by a boardroom full of older, out-of-touch executives attempting to write in the voice of a ‘young person,’ right down to an apparent mocking use of the term ‘triggering’ and an actual reference to Harambe.
There’s even a conversation wherein Blossom and Buttercup discuss “hate boners,” dropping the term numerous times in a heavy-handed attempt to elicit laughter from the audience based solely on how the term sounds.
While the leaked script has not yet been officially confirmed as authentic, Twitter user @fawfulator, whose live-tweeting of the script brought its contents to widespread social media attention, has since had their tweets containing screenshots of the document “withheld in response to a report from the copyright holder.”
You can see YouTuber JLongbone read the full script below.
What do you make of the alleged Powerpuff script? Let us know your thoughts on social media or in the comments down below!